The Romance Has Burned Out

I am not in love with you
Or what is
But what can be
For what is, is a tragedy
And what you are
I do not yet know for sure
But I feel this in my bones,
Your righteousness
Goodness is produced from your marrow
It pours from your sweat glands
And I smell it on your hair
Do you feel it?
My goodness, too?
Am I good enough for you?
You are not in love with me
But do you know what I can be?
I could be exactly what you
Need
There is great potential
In a vicious, deadly storm that brings water
To a desert
Have you never seen the Kalahari
After rain?
No, I am not fallen for you
But I have fallen
For the future

The head whispers its wisdom
But the heart shouts foolishness
How much easier it is to listen to the one
That cries

She stands tall, perhaps five feet and nine inches; about a head taller than myself. She is very thin. Not a sickly thin, but lean. This combined with her unusual height, though, makes her seem lanky and awkward, especially when she is still. But when she walks, her awkward gait is almost elegant, like that of a giraffe. She is long, but laterally is petite. Her chest and hips are narrow but her legs are still so thin as to leave a space between them. Her skin is pale and smooth; she is like a porcelain masterpiece. To the touch she is cold, but oh so soft, as though she were of silk flesh. On her shoulders are brown freckles peppered within a permanent darkness that marks the prolonged sun exposure of youth. Like freckles dot her nose and rosy cheeks. Resting deep within their sockets are big, round eyes of a glorious green. Guarding these emerald orbs are heavy brows that are thick but contained and perfectly complement her face with contrast. Her jaw line is soft and gently guides the eye downward to a small and dainty chin. Framing these round, delicate features is a lovely mane of dark brown hair, its ends artificially blonde. These beautiful drapes fall nearly six inches over her broad shoulders. A white tank top falls loosely about her skinny self, her favorite band represented on the front. She wears black skinny jeans that rest below her hips, and on her feet are red Chuck Taylor shoes. Her thin wrists are adorned with bracelets too big.
Outwardly she is perfect, and if there were a word better, this would describe her inwardly. But I cannot say.
And she is not mine.

If I killed myself tonight, would I be heaven-bound? 

Or would it be a sin and would I burn beneath the ground? 

Will god be angry? Will he reincarnate me 

As a filthy little cockroach or a pesky little flea? 

Or will my sentence be to never live again? 

Will he let me die an let that simply be the end? 

Should I be punished to linger and see 

Everyone I love crying over my dead body? 

Will a seat be saved for me at the service? 

Must I listen to every word they say 

Choking on tears and despair and sadness —

On second thought, I think I’ll stay 

Alive tonight 

You saw me long ago
And I saw you
Recently
Neither said a word
But looked on
Silently
And now so little time
Exists between we
Two
But little as it may be
Bigger things could still
Ensue
Opportunity,
A chance, nearly a
Miss
And now both pairs of lips
Mutually begging for a
Kiss

The leaves, they change
Yes, so do we
And fall with great fragility
Lying down, tread upon
The lightest wind
Blows them along
Blows us along

I hate someone like you
Someone who can’t even-
Can’t you see how great you are?
“Great”
That’s what everyone calls you
But you can’t do a thing right
So,
Why do they love you
So?
Fuck you! Fuck you!
Fuck who?
That mirror, and the God damned person
Staring back
At me
At her
Look
At her
Wasting time looking in a mirror when she should be
Working on making something better
Like her grades
Like her legs
But she lacks the motivation
Maybe she should work on that, too
If only she had a little more
Motivation
God
I hate someone
Like that

Desperation, sinking slowly

Bricks tied ‘round my ankles

No way out, no more breathing

Trapped in heavy shackles

No one dives in for the rescue

No one sees my struggle

How can I be saved if no one

Knows that I’m in trouble?

She would save me if she could

But saving someone’s hard

When you are steady sinking down

Right at their very side

So maybe we will die like this

Drowning in despair

But dying in my tears will be okay

If she’s still here

So now it’s too late for a life jacket,

A rope, or rescue boat

We’re sinking, drowning, dying now

Choking on false hopes

But maybe there’s an afterlife

Where we might find peace

Or maybe for the rest of eternity

We could sleep 

—- 

Maybe if you’d been better
Your life wouldn’t be in pieces
At your feet, since
The day I met you I thought you were an A plus human
But now I see the lies
That were hidden behind
Your sheepish skin
You had us all so fooled
You had us all so blinded
Dragging along a love that you’d secretly left behind
Already
Woah, steady as she goes
You’re gonna sink your boat
And you’re in it alone
So what do you think you’re gonna do?
I don’t feel sorry for you
You had quite a nerve
And you’ll get what you deserve

Forget the past, it’s dead 

Now’s the time to move ahead 

And think of brighter futures 

But don’t forget your sutures 

There’s things that need some mending 

A few things need some tending to 

Broken bones and shattered hearts 

All the people torn apart 

Sad stories and stormy skies 

Our dark minds, and you and I 

My darling, I will need you 

So get your thread and needle 

We’ll stitch us back together 

Then could we be forever?